How to teach kids stop fighting and bullying other classmates

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    Hong Kong
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    9

    How to teach kids stop fighting and bullying other classmates

    Recently I have been receiving complaints from other parents about my son fighting and bulleying other classmates at school.

    As a parent, although I have talked to my son to try to make him understand that fighting and bulleying others is not right, this obviously hasn't worked out the way I wanted to be.

    I would appreciate if you could suggest me ways that worked for you which I can try out, thanks.


  2. #2

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    Jul 2006
    Location
    Park Island, Hong Kong
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    12

    Did you ask him why did he fight and bully others? Could it be a situation that he might have been bullied first? It might be a good idea to sit him down in a 'non threatening' environment and ask him reasons for his actions. He might be frustrated in school and therefore he acts out this way.


  3. #3

    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Territories
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    72

    Hmm. That's a hard one. My kids have had it from the other side (been bothered). In that case I wrote notes to the teacher, complaining about it, and asked her to deal with it. It seems weird that the parents would approach you directly, rather than through the school.

    I guess it would be good to call the school and find out about it. For example, what may be acceptable "rough housing" for one boy, may be hurtful to another boy.

    Also, speak to your son and say something like "I heard that you hurt someone at school on Friday, what happened?"

    Hope things get straigtened out.


  4. #4

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Malaysia
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    Tips on How to Raise a Nonviolent Child

    Dear Parents;

    Log into the following site on parenting:

    How to Raise a Nonviolent Child
    http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/enopiria/message/140

    To Spank or Not to Spank?
    http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/enopiria/message/139

    Why Spanking Is a Bad Idea
    http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/enopiria/message/136

    Raising Kids with Character
    http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/enopiria/message/135

    Tips for Raising a Successful Student
    http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/enopiria/message/134

    Dealing with Aggressive and Nasty Behavior in Your Child
    http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/enopiria/message/128

    Helping Your Child Express Anger Appropriately
    http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/enopiria/message/127

    How to Raise a Nonviolent Child - Modeling anger management
    http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/enopiria/message/125

    How Can I Raise a Moral Child?
    http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/enopiria/message/120

    Smart Talk: Six Ways to Speak to Our Kids
    http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/enopiria/message/105

    Tips on Staying Connected with Your Teen
    http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/enopiria/message/100


    from E.nopiria


  5. #5

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Malaysia
    Posts
    3

    Dealing with Aggressive and Nasty Behavior in Your Child

    Your child the aggressor

    Up to 30% of kids occasionally or regularly engage in aggressive behavior. Fewer do it on a regular basis. Is your baby a bully?
    According to Dan Olweus, a Swedish psychologist and an expert on
    bullying, bullying involves repeated, aggressive behavior with a
    negative intent from one child to another, where there is a power
    difference.

    Hara Estroff Marano, in "Why Doesn't Anybody Like Me?"
    noted, "Children who are rejected because of aggressive tendencies
    are not `bad.' They are unable to decode or `read' emotion effectively, so they misperceive and misinterpret social signals in
    others."

    When Your Baby's a Bully
    A child who is chronically aggressive feels out of control, and tries
    to get what he wants and needs by taking it from others or otherwise asserting his power over them. While bullies are usually strong and social, the bully doesn't have many friends. Kids, ultimately, reject a bully.

    Here's a bit more information about chronic aggression and what you
    can do if your child is engaging in bullying behavior:

    The child who is bullying others wants social success, but doesn't
    know how to attain it. He's grabbing for it, instead of being kind,
    interested in others, and empathetic.

    Your child doesn't need your rejection or anger, he's getting more
    than enough of that at school. He needs your support, and your
    skills.

    Kids who bully are hypersensitive, and often feel a bit paranoid, as
    though people are out to "get" them. They aren't skilled at reading
    social situations, and they often register unintentional slights or
    accidents as direct attacks.

    Kids tend to initially like a child who bullies; they try to please
    him, follow his lead, and want to be his friend. This doesn't lastas
    kids become more frightened of him, he loses clout.

    Your child may need help understanding social structure. He doesn't
    know how to contribute to others, or to share.

    "Boys will be boys" is not a valid excuse for bullying behavior.

    The kid who is bullying others often gets into trouble, but always
    has a scapegoat.

    Don't label or let others label him a bully. People can change, and
    aggressive tendencies can be channeled.

    Consider that chronic aggression may be a sign of a learning
    disability or other problems.

    Don't pity your child, but take action to improve his communication
    skills. Let him know why is having trouble making friends, "Joe, kids
    aren't friends with people who hit them and are angry all the time."

    Engage your child in a problem-solving session, or brainstorm ways
    for your child to get his friends back or make new ones. Make sure
    the ideas come from your child, or, at least, are adopted by him.

    Bullying an aggressive child will not teach him anything.

    Be specific, consistent, provide a lot of positive reinforcement, and
    set very clear limits. Show no tolerance for aggressive behavior. The
    only way to truly stop bullying is to create a climate where
    aggressive behavior is consistently not tolerated.

    from E.nopiria